Scenes from My Life: Finding My Way

The alarm goes off, I have that damn thing set to music and every time it wakes me up to static. Slamming the snooze button, my mind begins an internal debate. Get up and go to the gym or sleep a while longer?




I decide. Then his hand starts rubbing my back trying to lure me back in bed, because he knows once I rise he won’t be able to sleep.

“I’m sorry I whisper. We need to get back on our schedule.”

And I escape his embrace, making my way out the door.

As I hurry to the gym the air feels cold and crisp. “It’s coming,” I think. “Fall.”

And a rush of relief fills my soul.

Don’t get me wrong. I love summer with its steamy days filled with pool parties and BBQs, but Fall…yeah, it’s time.

It’s time to start school {sob} and get our butts back on a schedule.

I’m a planner and I CRAVE {define that as eat, sleep and breathe} a schedule. Without it I feel lost, wandering aimless in an abyss of chaos. 

Without a schedule it’s easy to lose your way. To follow the wrong path, then back track millions of miles just to make one thing right.

The fatigue of back tracking has worn me down and I’m ready to start following a map instead of just wandering.

As I snatch the map from fate’s hand and look at the words and landmarks I realize I’m in unknown territory. Words like Kindergarten, After School Childcare and Two different drop offs. Begin to overwhelm my senses.

My compass becomes disoriented, shifting direction on a whim. I’m about to lose my way again, to lose our schedule that I cling to so desperately {for my own sanity, as well as my children’s well-being}

Eventually, there’s a beacon a light, a fellow mother who’s done all this before, and she deciphers the map for me.

Gently she takes my hand and guides me back to the path. I breathe easier, and slowly our schedule begins to take shape.

Earlier bedtimes, and meals on the table by 6, bags and lunches packed wating for the morning rush and of course my morning workouts.

With the sunshine guiding my way, my path becomes clear and I’m ready.

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  1. I am completely and utterly whole heartedly with you! I need structure, or else I just wallow. You know? Even on a summer day. It takes so much for me to get out of the house if I have no plan or schedule. We start school week after next, and I’m feeling like a puddle of waiting for it. And yay for crisp fall air!
    Corinne recently posted..Bigger Picture Moments: ListeningMy Profile

  2. Brook … I hear you on this … so says the soul who tries to linger in summer every single day that’s been given … this year, though, I’m finding myself desiring routine and schedule, I hear you.

    • It’s nice to be heard, and to be honest I’m totally craving a stormy day where all have to do is cuddle inside, so that I won’t feel guilty about wasting a beautiful day doing laundry or working.

  3. I am so totally with you. Without routine, I cede my needs to everything and everyone else and don’t get done what I need to do. Then I get grumpy and resentful and really am not fun to be around. I actually just wrote about this very thing in my blog post yesterday! Must be in the air or something.

    But yeah. Discipline. She’s a girl’s best friend sometimes, even if she can be a be-yotch pulling you out of bed when there’s a cuddly-sexy husband calling you back to it. 😉
    Jade @ Tasting Grace recently posted..A Coffee ChatMy Profile

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