Scenes: Ironic Silence

This space has been silent.

 

I’ve said this phrase so many times, but this time it’s true. My last post was in April – that’s a long time for me to stay quiet. Anyone that knows me knows I’m a talker, a maker of words and a storyteller.

 

I’m sure to the naked eye it appeared as though I had abandoned this space because there was nothing going on – that life had finally gotten boring.

 

On the contrary life had become loud.

 

So loud it was hard to hear the stories in my head.

 

Now there’s a break …

 

It’s time to process and spill my words onto the screen.

 

See, the spring is hard for me.

 

I lost my dad in the spring, five years ago, and even though my heart has healed there is tender scar tissue from where it was wounded. Every spring my body and heart remembers, ironically it’s also a time when life was born.

 

My two wonderful sons celebrate their birthdays in the spring one in April one in May almost exactly a month apart from the other.

 

E Eight

So while my heart aches for the lost, it also aches for the love I’ve found in these two beautiful boys.

 

On the cusp of celebrating life this year, and a day specifically to celebrate motherhood we lost my husband’s mother.

 

2013-08-25 10.29.57

 

The months of April and May are shrouded in a crazy ironic life and death dichotomy – while we should be planning birthday celebrations for the youngest we are instead planning a funeral and saying goodbye.

 

I believe there is a reason for everything and I know that the Powers that Be, planned these life and death parallels so we wouldn’t wallow in sorrow, but truly celebrate the gift of life.

 

Grant at Grandmas

 

Even when the day-to-day obstacles of life capture my body and brain and hold it hostage prohibiting me from thinking beyond baseball schedules, work deadlines and grocery lists.

 

Add to that the ultimate task of producing and performing a show, founded in brave storytelling and my life just became as ironic as the Alanis Morissette song.

 

This Is My Brave Iowa City

 

Would I have changed anything?

 

Of course not, life is a journey, right?

 

It’s a motto I live by, especially when life is too loud.

 

Because it’s only temporary, eventually the noise fades, and I’m left in silence to BREATHE and share my STORY again.

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