A {Treading Water} Sound Bytes of the Week

I don’t want to go.

 

I don’t want to wear the tight lung crushing swimsuit.

 

I don’t want to let my body fall into the chilly water.

 

But I do.

 

Once I’m in, the water takes my breath away and for a moment I need to catch my bearings, struggling, TREADING WATER before finally finding the strokes and the rhythm.

 

Each time I fall into the water, gasping for breath I remember the quote from Life of Pi “Water won’t kill you, but panic will.”

 

I’ve been treading water lately, since the accident. Trying to take stock of life and contemplating the meaning of it all. I may have given the wrong impression I may have “faked it” too long.

 

See, when you suffer from depression it doesn’t just go away it lays dormant {just like the eating disorder} until something triggers it. All it takes is a minor wrinkle in an already over-stretched schedule to throw it off kilter and to make me feel like the bottom has dropped out and I’m drowning. I’m treading water with all my might, and the panic seeps in and I’m left gasping for breath.

 

When this happens I search for life-preservers, friends and family for help, but like today in the pool as I stood there coughing up water, there was no one there. I was alone. I’m not sure where to turn, my compass is gone and I’m left alone in the water just like Pi and Richard Parker on that boat.

 

But…they persevered and so will I. Panic will not overtake me and will continue to tread the waters of life. So I kept swimming today, my training schedule as my guide.

 

Stroke.

 

Breathe.

 

Stroke.

 

Breathe.

 

Stroke.

 

BREATHE…out goes the panic and in comes peace.

 

Peace brings hugs, and friendly text messages and IMs of “I love you.” It comes in blog comments and Facebook likes and it comes in Sound Bytes like these…

 

3. “I believe since it is rainy outside I’ll wear the nylon pants since they are perfect for repelling water.”

Keep in mind it was a six year old that said this, and in the most matter-of-fact type voice. HILARIOUS … maybe you had to be there. Just imagine a mini-Sheldon from Big Bang Theory saying it…see HILARIOUS.

 

2. Cue 4 am crying toddler.

Cue tired mom who knows she needs to get up in an hour.

“Water.”

Hands over water.

“Paci.”

Searches all over the room in the dark, and eventually finds one behind the bed. By now almost fully awake.

“Ucky nose.”

Gets Kleenex … now fully awake, and annoyed. Pats child on head and goes to leave.

“Mama hug and kiss.”

Cue heart melting.

 

1. “Mom I love you to all the galaxies and back.”

WOW! Now that is love.

 

As I ease into the rough waters of the weekend and upcoming week I will remember NOT to panic and to swim instead of treading water.

Triathlon Swim
May your weekend go swimmingly.

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