The Hardest “Workout” I’ve Ever Done

Darkness. Silence. Breath. This is all I experience. Until slowly my mind wanders. I see … a gathering of angels above my head. a grocery list forming itself in my mind. Milk, apples, spinach… a memory of our family sailing, when dad was alive and we were smiling, the sun on our faces, the wind blowing our hair and lifting the sails pushing us forward. Song lyrics begin repeating themselves. “Oh baby, why don't you just meet me in the middle? I'm losing my mind … [Read more...]

A Lifetime of Recovery

At the end of April, I was lucky enough to speak during the Iowa City NEDA Walk. For those of you who don't know I have suffered from anorexia since I was around 10 years old. At one point during my 20's I weighed 90 pounds. This a bit of my story and how it's progressed through the years. If you or someone you know has an eating disorder there is help. Visit the NEDA website for resources and a helpline. Here's my story. I remember the day I started eating again. I was in the … [Read more...]

This is Menopause

Crinkle. Crinkle. The white paper under my butt crunches as I try to get comfortable. My palms are sweaty, and the butterflies in my stomach are fluttering so fiercely they may lift me off this crinkly paper and fly me away. Today is the day. The day I get answers. The day all the pieces will finally come together … I hope. It’s been four years. Four fucking long ass years to get to this point. I remember the day of the shift. I was on a spin bike. Pedaling like my life depended on it. … [Read more...]

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