It’s JUST One Day: BPM

I was still fuming this morning.

Last night was a disaster, well not really a disaster. More like an annoyance so large you really just need bazooka to obliterate it.

Hence, the reason I’m still fuming.

Let me give you the scenario…

I rush from work {because I’m always rushing, in case you didn’t notice}, grab redheaded kiddo from daycare, and head home.

After a long day at my paying job, I get to start my other job of chef, housekeeper and laundry goddess.

From the moment my feet step inside the door, I’m off running.

Getting crackers.

Pulling out pots and pans for dinner.

Dodging counters full of dirty dishes.

Buttering bread and stirring soup.

Sorting laundry.

Breaking up sibling disputes.

And listening to my hubs watch PTI.

Yeah, did you catch that last one…kind of sends a knife right into your soul doesn’t it.

Here I am busting my rump, and he’s WHAT?

Yeah, the blood started simmering at that point.

I’d have to say it boiled over when upon sitting down to dinner he said he wasn’t hungry.

WHAT?

I was gone at that point, fighting my inner rage to kick someone in the shin.

I’d like to say the night went better, that at some point there was this blissful moment of love and realization, but nope.

I needed to sleep on it, and even still I was grouchy and grumpy and complaining to my Pilates pals, during our exercises.

Then it happened that epiphany, that moment of realization I was seeking last night made itself apparent at 6:30 this morning as I did elephant on the reformer.

My Pilates instructor mentioned how her hubs, gave her acupressure all through her natural birth. How he worked his ass off, to make sure she was comfortable.

And I started thinking about my hubs, and how last night was ONE night in over ten years. Even if he didn’t help with the dishes last night or help throw in a load of laundry, it’s not like he NEVER helps. He does laundry, vacuums, empties the dishwasher and takes out the garbage. He’s always there whenever we need him playing trains, reading stories, and giving me hugs and nose doinks just when I need them.

It’s not worth being upset over just ONE day?

We all need a break once in a while.

Perhaps domestic chores aren’t his forte, but I do know that LOVING me and our boys IS, and I’ll take that even if I have to load the dishwasher by myself.

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15 thoughts on “It’s JUST One Day: BPM

  1. This is exactly one of the reasons I whole-heartedly condone going to bed angry. There are times we need to cool down before we can think clearly!

    That said, I’m impressed with your reserve 🙂 It makes me see RED when I feel like I’m getting no help, even if it’s rare. The work is ongoing, so shouldn’t the help be, also? Your husband is a lucky guy, but it also sounds like you are a lucky gal 🙂

    Loved this one.
    Sarah @ This Heavenly Life recently posted..Waves {A Bigger Picture Moment}My Profile

    1. Yeah…I didn’t want to go to bed mad, but it was late and I didn’t want to get into a heated discussion at 10 p.m. either. And yes, I’m a VERY lucky girl. Especially {as he pointed out} I won’t be home for the next three days…so I think I’ll cut him some slack.

  2. So hard in the moment…but when I’m growling on the inside…I do make myself remember that I’ve hardly ever cleaned a floor in almost 30 years….so, yeah…I’ll load the dishwasher!! And we started out with the “don’t go to bed angry” thing … taking it literally. Our later years of sleeping on it, or walking away for a bit, BEFORE we approach it with each other have been much more peaceful and have seen many, many more resolutions. There are so many things I can genuinely ‘let go of’ on my own…then the few things that need discussing ~ once I figure out what they are, I don’t let them fester… Great post…and enjoy whatever you’re doing for three days away!
    Adrienne recently posted..ComfortMy Profile

    1. I think you hit the nail on the head…sometimes {ok maybe a lot} I over dramatize things. So, I don’t really want to waste time with that arguement until I have some time to see it rationally. And yeah, he does ALOT of stuff I don’t do … like clean the litter box or mow the lawn. Yeah, I’ll cook and load the dishwasher to avoid those for sure. Thanks…

  3. Oh, this was so great. I’ve been struggling lately because I’m eight months pregnant and just the sound of my husband pulling the recline lever on his chair while I’m cooking dinner makes me want to scream. For some reason, all the other times he offered to help just go flying out the window in those moments (not to mention the fact that if I asked for him to come help me, he certainly would). If nothing else, it always makes me feel better to know that I’m not the only one with a husband who prefers PTI to loading the dishwasher.
    Lisa recently posted..A Dream in DisguiseMy Profile

    1. OMG … I’m sooooo glad I’m not the only one. And I’m the same way. I know he will help if I ask, but I just don’t ask. Instead I kind of stomp around the house and slam cupboards like a two year old and when he asks me if something is wrong I just say “fine”. Gah…I’m my own worst enemy.

  4. I firmly disagree with whoever started that whole “don’t go to bed angry” thing. Because sometimes you really do need to sleep on it. To have that time to sort things out on your own. And an overnight will do it. It is tough to remember in the heat of the moment that they are good guys, even if at that one moment they aren’t living up to what you expect them to do to (I am so guilty as charged) but in the end you are so right, one day isn’t the end all be all 🙂
    Corinne recently posted..Creative Inspiration… courageMy Profile

    1. THANK YOU!!! And yeah…because sometimes I’m not very rational. I definitely need to sleep on it, and sometimes I talk it out to myself, just to make sure I’m not crazy {although I am talking to myself, so that might be subjective}. Plus, if I confront the arguement when I’m still SUPER angry I make no sense. So, much better to sleep on it.

  5. I have these days too. Probably more often than I want to admit. It’s so easy to see what we do and forget what they do…especially when it’s not what we want them to be doing right.that.minute. Time and breathing = essential for regaining sanity 🙂

  6. I bet we are all guilty of this sometimes – especially when we are a bit hormonal – true for me anyway. My husband is hard working, sweet, and LOVES me and the boys. He puts us first. He will do any chore I ask him to – without complaint. But, he is the messiest guy in town. He cooks, but makes a mess like you wouldn’t believe – when I have to rest (I have RA) and he takes over in the evening – I’ll get up the next day to find a hurricane blew through! I get so mad. But, truth be told – he just doesn’t see what I see & he is worthy of nothing but love and gratitude. Truth be told- it’s really my own frustration at being “stuck” in a body that doesn’t always cooperate. Great reminder! thanks
    kelli- AdventurezInChildRearing recently posted..5 minute Friday – Bigger Picture – WideMy Profile

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