We had just finished watching the bazillionth Phineas and Ferb episode. As I eagerly grabbed the remote to turn off the TV, he quickly stopped me. “Don’t turn it off mommy I like the princess part.”
I had no idea what he was talking, so I dropped the remote like a hot potato and watched alongside my son.
While I watched the sappy girl power infomercial, I glanced at my son. His eyes were glued to the screen and he held my hand and snuggled a little bit tighter to me. This boy who only a minute ago was bouncing off the walls like a maniac pretending to be Agent P, was calm.
Before I could wipe the tear from my eye {what can I say I’m a sucker}, he said “I want to be a princess too mama.” And just like that my warm fuzzy heart turned to stone, and anger swept in.
Because why shouldn’t my son be a princess too.
All the qualities promoted in the video are the same whether you are a boy or a girl.
He loves his family.
He has a big heart and is kind and generous.
He needs to find strength in muscle and soul.
He believes in standing up for others and helping those in need.
He’s brave sometimes and scared sometimes.
These are not attributes only fit for a girl, but as a society we believe girls need these words more than boys.
But we are wrong.
In our effort to empower our girls through books, websites, TV shows, movies, etc. we have stolen the confidence of our boys.
Instead boys are led to believe that brute force will win the battle, and that emotions are for sissies and compassion is for the weak.
That my friends will kill us as a society, and the proof is there, in the horrible role models of gangster musicians and juiced up womanizing athletes. Where have the good men gone?
Where are the heroes?
That will fight for right and defeat the wrong. {ok so I might be quoting a song, but you get the point}
My biggest worry is that my son will be left behind. That the over confident women we are creating will never notice my sweet boy because he was never given the opportunity to find his voice and have someone listen.
You aren’t naturally born with compassion, courage and self worth it’s something you learn. By emulating what you see from your parents, friends, TV or school. Our quest to give girls more opportunities has left us with boys who are starving emotionally.
Even with E’s issues I’m well aware of the tough road ahead. Heroes in children’s movies are often girls and the farting jokester is the boy. Fawning and googlie-eyed over the young maiden who will walk all over him. However, if the roles were reversed it would seem too harsh, too dominating and humiliating.
There must be a common ground. There must be a way to empower our children without it being so one-sided.
This has been blog fodder on more than one site. My friend Jade wrote a profound post on “Raising Men in the Aftermath of Feminism” and Jenni over a MommyNaniBooboo wrote “I never thought he would feel being born a boy was a limitation.”
It’s time to empower our CHILDREN regardless of gender roles. Compassion, bravery and self-worth are not gender specific these are qualities EVERYONE needs in order for our society to be better.
Please don’t forget our boys, because they deserve to princesses too.
Hear, hear! Well said, Brook.
Jade @ Tasting Grace recently posted..Voluptuous
Yes! Princesses are everywhere… and they are honest and brave, and smart, and fun… and of course my kid should want to be that too.
Thanks for the shout out… and I’m glad this topic is such blog fodder – it means people are talking, questioning… and hopefully opening minds (even our own).
Lovely post.
Jenni Chiu @ MommyNaniBooboo recently posted..Fervent Trusting Love.
You know this topic has been running the rounds lately and it makes me feel good, because I think people are finally “getting it”. Because it’s about all children not just boys or girls. Thanks for the inspiration. 🙂
As a mom of three very stereotypical boys, I have to admit I hadn’t really thought much about it from this point of view. I do believe my soft hearted oldest will get his heart ripped to shreds by a few girls who will use his for his generous gift giving, whenever he finally decides girls are worth any time. But I often view their world from my owe painful, awkward young years. Having already had talks with them about how to handle a girl who likes them kindly when they have no interest etc. But I often forget how tender their hearts are too. Thanks for this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lisa @ Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy recently posted..Knock, Knock Facebook Did It Again
I do that too. When my oldest started kindergarten I had more anxiety than him, since my school years weren’t the best. But someone once told me that tough experiences like that help you educate your children better, and help them cope. You are very welcome, and I know our boys have big hearts, but sometimes they just need to find them.
Amen! I live in a southern rural area and I’ve noticed that the “qualities” that men around here seem to foster are who can drink more beer, drive faster, and fight better.
I have a boy and a girl and I want them both to be compassionate, self confident, strong, and empathetic individuals.
I’m lucky to have a rather open minded redneck for a husband who is bound and determined to get his son into ballroom dance classes because “it teaches him how to respect and treat a lady”.
DaniMae recently posted..Full Review of Vassen Hello Kitty Blue Contacts
Hmmm…I might have to enroll my boys in ballroom dancing…NICE!
I have a daughter and I am born to family full of women. I have never viewed what some would call “feminism” from this perspective. As parents I think that we should create opportunities for our little boy and our little girls. Be his/her teacher so that when society takes hold of them and we’re no longer their best friend they will already have a good foundation. #sitssharefest
Andrea recently posted..Costco: Where Every Member is Treated Like a Criminal
Yeah…I think as we evolve as parents we realize that gender roles are starting to be blurred a bit, which is good. It’s about empowering people not just one gender over the other.
I’ve always wondered why the genders have to be at war with each other.
And may I say, your son is the prettiest princess.
Classic NYer recently posted..On laryngitis
Awww…thank you. I couldn’t get that crown off of him.
I know that infomercial! My daughter loves it. Today she asked me if boys can wear dresses and I said that of course they can and that her dear Uncle Sam wears them sometimes. I know there are many of these conversations in our future. I have an older girl and a baby boy.
Tamara recently posted..Behind the Lens.
That is wonderful…my son said the same thing to me the other day when I said he was lucky he didn’t have to wear skirts to school because it was so cold and he informed me that there are boys that wear skirts and he could wear one if he wanted…out of the mouths of babes. 🙂
We love that commercial in our house! And that includes my 7 year old son who joins in and says he’s a princess, too!
a happier girl recently posted..Non Scale Victory: Sometimes size does matter
Awesome! I’m glad my son isn’t the only one.
I’m fighting back tears right now. This is beautiful. I hope my son will be a princess, too.