Scenes: The Year I Died & was Resurrected

I died in 2015.

Death has many meanings.

Sure my body was physically walking around doing its usual day-to-day crap, but my soul had burnt out long ago.

See, I was seduced by the glossy image of a better, creative life. Unfortunately, after only 6 months the gloss quickly wore away. I was left with the brutal reality of how I was slowing killing myself each day.

The soul, like the body, needs to be fed. Mine can be exceptionally ravenous for tidbits of creativity, fitness and connections. It didn’t happen overnight, but slowly I began starving myself.

I would make excuses.

I’m too tired.

I have too much work.

I just can’t think anymore.

Each excuse was like withholding a morsel of food.

Without nourishment my body, mind and spirit withered away.

What I thought would be my salvation quickly turned into my death sentence.

So just like that, I woke up one morning and didn’t even recognize the bitter, angry, overweight and soul sucked corpse staring back at me in the mirror.

Here’s the deal, though.

I couldn’t escape. No amount of therapy, meds or apologies could undo the damage that was done.

The path behind me was engulfed in darkness. There was no going back; I could only forge forward. I moved through the darkness hands extended reaching for anything viable. There were sparks of light that guided my way in the form of new friendships, creative inspiration and signs from the fates.

One reoccurring sign was the death tarot card.

Phoenix Rises

No matter which deck I pulled from, there it was staring at me.

You would think I’d freak the fuck out, right?

Nope. I embraced it.

There are moments in life when you need to let go in order to move forward, and this was surely one of those moments.

So, I kept trudging through the darkness.

Eventually, I heard a voice, one of support and love who said: “It’s ok, come with me.”

So I did.

With a Judd Nelson fist pump and “Don’t You Forget About Me” playing in my brain I walked straight into the light.

The light of the sun on my face reignited the ashes of my soul.

I was reborn like a Phoenix from the flames.

 

Phoenix Rises

 

Brilliant. Majestic. Strong.

I was ready to spread my wings and soar.

In 2015, I died, and in 2016 I was resurrected.

The Phoenix rises.

Phoenix Rises

Comments

  1. I love this so, so much…everything about it, that is all.

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