On a daily basis I’m running a race.
A race in my mind between what’s real and what’s not.
Each day is a struggle to surface from the bottom of the proverbial pool.
The finish line is elusive and often I feel I’m just running in place, but this spring I finally felt that I’d reached my goal.
My finish line wasn’t at the end of a racecourse it was on a stage.
In May, I opted to produce This is My Brave, a theatre production that compiles stories from locals who have been touched by mental illness.
My race with mental illness has lasted a lifetime beginning with myself, family members, my dad and most-likely my eldest son.
The endurance it takes to compete in triathlons is nothing compared to the determination it takes to wake up every morning and forge forward while inside you are suffering.
Triathlete and movie star Robin Williams knew that struggle. It’s the one-year anniversary of his death, and while many remember him as Patch Adams or Mrs. Doubtfire.
I also remember him as a triathlete – encouraging others and supporting the CAF.
Little did we know he was running a race in his head too.
When I made the decision not to race this year, and instead do the show. I never thought it would give me the same rush of accomplishment that running,, swimming and biking could.
This is My Brave quickly became my “triathlon”. Bricks were replaced by long rehearsals, and advocacy became my new PR.
My training partners were my “people”. They were mothers, fathers, daughters, sons and friends – each one running alongside me trying to beat the beast of mental illness.
The bravery it took to walk on that stage and share their stories with complete strangers rivaled any I’ve experienced during race day.
I wanted {and still want} the world to hear our stories. They are important to everyone – economically, socially and spiritually. There is not one person who hasn’t be affected by mental illness as observed when at the end of the show I asked the audience to stand if they or someone they knew were affected by mental illness.
The whole theatre stood.
It was amazing and heart wrenching all at the same time.
If so many people were affected and running this race, why were we not running it together? Why do people with mental illness feel ashamed and alone?
We need to change the way people think about mental illness, erase the stigma for good and run this race together.
**
Our show was recorded and can be viewed here. Make sure to grab some Kleenex first.
If you or a family member are struggling with mental illness, please feel free contact me – you do not have to run this race alone.