“Bye, I’m headed to spin class,” I yelled up the stairs.
“Hey on your way back why don’t you get some donuts,” my hubs yelled down to me.
Donuts post spin? Ummm…ok. No need to twist my arm. I had been dying to stop at the new Dunkin’ Donuts for weeks.
“Ok, what kind do you want,” I asked.
As my husband made his way down the stairs I could see the smirk on his face. “Why don’t you just get my favorite,” he replied through his smirky smirk.
Quickly I tried to hide the panic on my face. What the hell was his favorite donut? UGH…seriously? We’ve been married for eleven years and I can’t remember his favorite donut.
“Umm, ok,” I reply, trying to feign confidence.
Quickly I try to remember what type of donuts he’s brought home in the past.
Glazed?
Chocolate frosted?
Cake or that other puffy kind?
Sprinkles or no Sprinkles?
Crap! Crapiddy, Crap, Crap.
Ok, wait there was that one time years ago when we watched a rerun of the Newlywed game and they asked that same question…what did he say?
Glazed, yes glazed it is.
Thinking I was the super smart totally awesome wife for remembering, I spun my way through class and then drove my sweaty butt to Dunkin’ Donuts.
I refused to do the drive thru, as it seemed weird to buy donuts that way, and I wanted to suck in the yummy goodness of the baked goods and coffee.
Making my way to the counter I tell them I want a dozen. I quickly pick a couple of glazed, then second guessing myself I try to get at least one of every other kind I believe he’s brought home before.
Chocolate, Strawberry, Vanilla, Sprinkles and of course a couple Sugar ones for me.
With a smile on my face, I presented my box of goodies.
“So how did I do,” I asked over-confidently.
He gave me the “so-so” hand.
“You didn’t get any Crullers, but it’s ok.”
Ugh.
Wife-fail.
It’s been like that a lot lately. My friends keep giving me the “you’re a great mom” speech, when what I really need is you’re a great wife.
Honestly, I feel like I have the mom thing down, but it’s combining mom AND wife that has me all torn up inside.
It’s hard to be everything to everyone, but really after 11 years I SHOULD have known his favorite donut.
I SHOULD notice when he gets a haircut {that day, not three days later]
I SHOULD know that he doesn’t like the stuffed shells.
I SHOULD know so much more than I do.
It’s time to stop letting the kids, work and life suck my attention from THE ONE person who makes it all worthwhile.
I need to stop talking and running, and just listen and be still. Look at him instead of glance, and REALLY just be together.
We used to be that way…BC {before children}. I noticed things, like the way his eyes change color and how much I love his smile. But now all I notice are the dirty dishes, the toys and the craziness of it all.
Life will never slow down, but one thing has changed. I now know his favorite donut, and that’s a step in the right direction. I’ll never forget it, no matter how crazy life gets.
And I’m ready to know some more.