“Hi, can I take your order,” said our waitress.

“Hmm, what? I’m sorry?” I say sharply while wrangling my 2 year old and trying to pull the iPod out for the big boy.

“Your order?” she repeats.

Quickly I give her our order, but not quick enough. I saw the cute elderly woman eyeballing us and then it happened right as I was about to say “funny face pancake” she abruptly interrupts me, walks over to my youngest, caresses his head {which totally ticked him off} and starts reminiscing about how she had a great, great, great grandfather with red hair. “And oh, I’m sure he got his red hair from his mama.”

I wanted to say, “get her hands off my child and leave us to our funny-face pancake, and by the way I dye my hair.” Instead I smiled, nodded politely and said thank you.

After I tweeted this little scenario, a fellow redhead replied “You’d think a redhead was a bedazzled unicorn or something, people act like they’ve never seen one before.”

Yep, that’s it! I gave birth to a bedazzled unicorn, and while it’s special and beautiful it can be annoying and a little creepy.

Especially when the lady at the playground tells you that “It’s great to see a redhead after what I read on the internet.”

What?

What’s the Internet saying now?

Well, supposedly by the year 2060 redheads will be extinct. Back in 2007, the Oxford Hair Foundation reported that red hair was going to be extinct in 100 years. This finding is a bit suspect, as the Oxford Hair Foundation is funded by Proctor and Gamble, makers of red hair dye. Ummm, yeah…I think my little unicorn and his offspring are safe.

Upon searching the interwebs I found other interesting redhead theories…

Supposedly my little redhead could be the star of his own Twilight saga, as ancient Greeks believed that gingers turned into vampires after death.

G is a spitter, which could be explained by the fact that in Corsica, it’s common to turn your head and spit when a redhead walks by. He’s obviously retaliating.

Break out the broomstick because G could also be a witch, according to those crazy Europeans.

Studies show that redheads have a higher pain threshold, and can tolerate spicier foods. G does love a good salsa.

“While the rest of the human race are descended from monkeys, redheads are derived from cats.”  – Mark Twain. This could explain the special connection between our cat and “little red”.

Not only could G be a vampire, a witch and a cat he could also be one of the descendants of Atlantis.

Lots of redheads ruled the world like Queen Elizabeth, Thomas Jefferson, Mark Twain and Galileo to name a few. Looks like my little G, might be a natural born leader.

Of course he could also be a descendant of a giant. Really?

Many people feared redheads probably because they were either giants, vampires, witches or cats. I fear G only when he wants Target popcorn and he wants it NOW.

Even the Neanderthals were bedazzled unicorns, but I bet people didn’t just walk up and start touching their heads.

And of course no crazy conspiracy would be complete without a mention of the illuminate who want to create a super race with my son’s genes. Well, he is super, but he’s ours.

Oh, Internet you are so full of theories, conspiracies and maybe a smidge of truth. However, no matter what you read or rumors you hear, G is just my “little redhead” so please don’t touch his hair, or tell me stories about your great, great, great grandfather’s red hair or interrupt our family time, because want to eat our funny-face pancakes in peace.

A special thanks to Lyz Lenz whose fascination with the Illuminate and all things weird helped provide me with this plethora of ginger theories. Want to read more weirdness check her out over at Tru.TV and on her blog.

___

On an unrelated note I’m hosting a Minted giveaway for $75 credit toward announcements, invites, artwork, journals and more! CLICK HERE to enter and you could announce the birth of your little bedazzled unicorn in style.

We had just finished watching the bazillionth Phineas and Ferb episode. As I eagerly grabbed the remote to turn off the TV, he quickly stopped me. “Don’t turn it off mommy I like the princess part.”

I had no idea what he was talking, so I dropped the remote like a hot potato and watched alongside my son.

While I watched the sappy girl power infomercial, I glanced at my son. His eyes were glued to the screen and he held my hand and snuggled a little bit tighter to me. This boy who only a minute ago was bouncing off the walls like a maniac pretending to be Agent P, was calm.

Before I could wipe the tear from my eye {what can I say I’m a sucker}, he said “I want to be a princess too mama.” And just like that my warm fuzzy heart turned to stone, and anger swept in.

Because why shouldn’t my son be a princess too.

All the qualities promoted in the video are the same whether you are a boy or a girl.

He loves his family.

He has a big heart and is kind and generous.

He needs to find strength in muscle and soul.

He believes in standing up for others and helping those in need.

He’s brave sometimes and scared sometimes.

These are not attributes only fit for a girl, but as a society we believe girls need these words more than boys.

But we are wrong.

In our effort to empower our girls through books, websites, TV shows, movies, etc. we have stolen the confidence of our boys.

Instead boys are led to believe that brute force will win the battle, and that emotions are for sissies and compassion is for the weak.

That my friends will kill us as a society, and the proof is there, in the horrible role models of gangster musicians and juiced up womanizing athletes. Where have the good men gone?

Where are the heroes?

That will fight for right and defeat the wrong. {ok so I might be quoting a song, but you get the point}

My biggest worry is that my son will be left behind. That the over confident women we are creating will never notice my sweet boy because he was never given the opportunity to find his voice and have someone listen.

You aren’t naturally born with compassion, courage and self worth it’s something you learn. By emulating what you see from your parents, friends, TV or school. Our quest to give girls more opportunities has left us with boys who are starving emotionally.

Even with E’s issues I’m well aware of the tough road ahead. Heroes in children’s movies are often girls and the farting jokester is the boy. Fawning and googlie-eyed over the young maiden who will walk all over him. However, if the roles were reversed it would seem too harsh, too dominating and humiliating.

There must be a common ground. There must be a way to empower our children without it being so one-sided.

This has been blog fodder on more than one site. My friend Jade wrote a profound post on “Raising Men in the Aftermath of Feminism” and Jenni over a MommyNaniBooboo wrote “I never thought he would feel being born a boy was a limitation.”

It’s time to empower our CHILDREN regardless of gender roles. Compassion, bravery and self-worth are not gender specific these are qualities EVERYONE needs in order for our society to be better.

Please don’t forget our boys, because they deserve to princesses too.

No really I’m asking the question, do you think I really could?

I’ve never had the option so I don’t really know.

We’ve always needed the second income since my kids like to eat and have clothes that fit.

However, it wasn’t all about the money.

My job was what defined me, and I always thought I’d feel unfulfilled as a SAHM, because I LOVE to work. I like having an office, meeting new people and accomplishing more than laundry during the day. The funny thing is, now that I have the blog, my community and freelance projects I feel MORE fulfilled than at my day job. I never thought that would happen, but it has.

And after B2 told me we spent over $20,000 for ONE kiddo in daycare and he said, ” You know you probably could have stayed at home and we would have MADE money.”

Blerg…you tell me this now…three years later when the little guy would have to start formal preschool anyway? Grrr….

I feel cheated. I never had a chance to try. To see if staying home was something I would like to do, or even be good at.

Seriously, I could have been a better cook, more of an active parent and I could do Pinteresty projects with the kids, and my house wouldn’t be overrun with Cheerios and LEGOS.

Instead, I’m the parent that forgets snow pants and snacks. I’m the one who can’t make teacher meetings or volunteer at school.

It makes me sad … all I ever wanted was a chance to try.

Well, last week I had the opportunity to stay home for TWO whole days, with no plans. I have to admit that the first day was pretty easy. E had opted to do a day-camp program and G still went to preschool, so I had a free day to write, write, and write…I think I sat at the coffee shop for FOUR hours, just spilling my soul onto paper and catching up on email. All of that catching up meant that once I picked up E I wasn’t preoccupied with my To Do list because voila it was already done. NICE…

The second day I spent the WHOLE day with E. We had our moments, as we started falling into old patterns of snippiness, but overall we enjoyed each other’s company.  We even embarked on an adventure to the indoor play gym in the next town. It was a blast, and I perfected my skee-ball game while he rolled around in the ball pit {aka the petri dish of doom}.

Yet again I was relaxed and at ease, because I knew later that afternoon I would have time to do laundry, clean the kitchen and complete my to do list.

I think that’s the key … it’s completing the To Do List that makes me a better mom. Better equipped to stay home and “just be “ with the children. But when you add in a 40 hour plus workday, the To Do List and the kiddos there just isn’t enough time in the day to devote to ONE thing. Instead I dabble in everything and do it all in a half-assed way, because I’m preoccupied with the next item on the list.

What does this all mean?

Nothing really, as life is what is and I’m not giving up my job {the food and clothes thing}, not giving up the blog {community and fulfillment thing} and the To Do List will never disappear.

But I DO know that I love those two crazy kiddos and that even though I might have epic MOM FAILS, I’m still a kickass mom, whether I work or stay at home.