Scenes from My Life: It’s Time

I stare at the blank page.

My fingers hit the keys typing a sentence.

“Ugh, that doesn’t sound right,” I think to myself.

My fingers hit the keys … backspace, backspace, backspace.

I’m still staring at the blank page.

My mind wanders, twirling thoughts that center around TO DO lists, and worries.

Eventually, I click off the stark white page and head to Facebook. My brain can handle Facebook, but right now it can’t handle flowery prose and grammatically correct sentences.

I’m sucked into the vortex of mindlessness. Reading status updates of others accomplishments and poetic blog posts, and my heart sinks into nothingness.

I want my voice back!

I want my creative mojo back!

I want to WRITE!

Like really write. FOR ME!

Sure I’ve been writing fashion posts, and recapping the week in Sound Bytes, and sharing my stories of motherhood on the Iowa City Moms Blog. However, all that writing is for someone else, it’s to serve an informative purpose.

I’ve been asking myself what my end game is. Did I really expect to make big money from this blog, or hit it big like some of the famous bloggers out there? No…I started it because I like to write {scratch that} LOVE to write. And now it’s been sucked away, amidst the pressure to “be more” and “do more”.

It’s not the heart’s song I’ve written before.

It’s time to find the melody of the words again.

Because you can’t and shouldn’t SEO the heart’s song. I shouldn’t need affirmations or sponsored posts to prove I’m worthy enough to blog. My blog has always been a way for me to tell my story, share my experiences and inspire others. I’ll never make millions, but I might just make a million new friends, which is enough for me.

I want to go back to the time when words fell from my fingers like rain from the sky. When it was effortless and exhilarating…it’s time.